Threatened in my own HOME!

[Forklift]

I own a house and property and its in both our (wife and mines) names.

Wife and I get into a really heated arguement, that leads to me leaving the house and cooling down for about an 30min. 10min into my drive I get a call from her father who tells me in a real a-hole tough guy voice to pick a fight with a man not a girl, and that he would show me what he meant. I asked "are you implying I laid my hands on her???" He replyed no, and I said well then stay out of my marriage!

Now i get home and her Mom is there along with her brother who is about my size. I sit down taking my boots off wondering what the hell their doing here and the Mom comes towards me screaming and yelling profanitys. I ignore her, not saying a word, she advances two inchs from my face and screams louder. i stand up and yell back "shut up and get out of my house" Then the brother gets in my face and the Mom cocks her fist like shes gonna swing... We just stand there yelling back and forth, then i turn and walk away.

I head to the bedroom and shes shouting to me that their not leaving. She says my father in law is on his way over! I said bad idea cuz he already threatened me on the phone.

So Im in the bedroom wondering what I can do besides leave my own home. What kind of force, if any, can i use?, Will I be labeled the "aggresor" if it gets physical, after all its their words against mine, Should I call the cops?, What can they do? If it does get physcial will my guns be taken away??? My minds going 100mph and Im really emotional/angry!

About this time the father in law pulls in my drive, I meet him in the kitchen and in a loud voice pronouce that he is not welcome on my property and He needs to leave, him and all his family! My wife says "no he can stay"!

So i go back to the bedroom, a "hostage" in my own home, still wondering what to do. I hear them all talking out in the kitchen saying things about me and against me, making me even more angry! I decide to call the cops and after telling them the story they say they can come over and issue a harrasment citation, but they can not make them leave if my wife is allowing them to be there. I was shocked!!! I said even if their threating physical harm to me they're aloud to stay in my home. He said yes, your wife has the right to have who she wants over. So i stayed in the bedroom.

Finally after about 30min they all left. Im still really upset. All this cuz my wife "allowed" them to be there.

I was cc'ing the entire time, unknown to them.

This happend about 5weeks ago. I wanted to share, even though it is embassing, in the hope to get some insight.

Wife and I are seeing a marriage counciler and making some progress. She fully admits allowing them to be there in the first place was wrong, and has aggreed not to allow them here again, but what could I have done different? Sorry for poor spelling.

[cakeshooter]

Good with the marriage counseling!

I don't think you could have done anything differently. You didn't pull out your gun, you called and asked the cops for advice, and then you waited it out.

Not much more you could have done, if you ask me. Doing anything aggressive would have made things bad on you, since she was within her rights to have her family at the home.

Hope things get better for ya. And hopefully the counselor makes it clear to your wife that your problems are between you two, not you two and her family.

[CHEMICAL]

I own a house and property and its in both our (wife and mines) names.

Wife and I get into a really heated arguement, that leads to me leaving the house and cooling down for about an 30min. 10min into my drive I get a call from her father who tells me in a real a-hole tough guy voice to pick a fight with a man not a girl, and that he would show me what he meant. I asked "are you implying I laid my hands on her???" He replyed no, and I said well then stay out of my marriage!

Now i get home and her Mom is there along with her brother who is about my size. I sit down taking my boots off wondering what the hell their doing here and the Mom comes towards me screaming and yelling profanitys. I ignore her, not saying a word, she advances two inchs from my face and screams louder. i stand up and yell back "shut up and get out of my house" Then the brother gets in my face and the Mom cocks her fist like shes gonna swing... We just stand there yelling back and forth, then i turn and walk away.

I head to the bedroom and shes shouting to me that their not leaving. She says my father in law is on his way over! I said bad idea cuz he already threatened me on the phone.

So Im in the bedroom wondering what I can do besides leave my own home. What kind of force, if any, can i use?, Will I be labeled the "aggresor" if it gets physical, after all its their words against mine, Should I call the cops?, What can they do? If it does get physcial will my guns be taken away??? My minds going 100mph and Im really emotional/angry!

About this time the father in law pulls in my drive, I meet him in the kitchen and in a loud voice pronouce that he is not welcome on my property and He needs to leave, him and all his family! My wife says "no he can stay"!

So i go back to the bedroom, a "hostage" in my own home, still wondering what to do. I hear them all talking out in the kitchen saying things about me and against me, making me even more angry! I decide to call the cops and after telling them the story they say they can come over and issue a harrasment citation, but they can not make them leave if my wife is allowing them to be there. I was shocked!!! I said even if their threating physical harm to me they're aloud to stay in my home. He said yes, your wife has the right to have who she wants over. So i stayed in the bedroom.

Finally after about 30min they all left. Im still really upset. All this cuz my wife "allowed" them to be there.

I was cc'ing the entire time, unknown to them.

This happend about 5weeks ago. I wanted to share, even though it is embassing, in the hope to get some insight.

Wife and I are seeing a marriage counciler and making some progress. She fully admits allowing them to be there in the first place was wrong, and has aggreed not to allow them here again, but what could I have done different? Sorry for poor spelling.

It's over man. Move on. The words may heal but the scars won't. Sorry. Don't let yourself be tongue lashed and emotionally whipped because you will eventually hate her and resent yourself. Bummer.

[PocketProtector]

Lawyer up.

[God's Country]

That's a pretty tough situation.
Actually I think you did OK. You kept your cool and avoided confrontation.
It sucks that your wife is using her family to gain some leverage after an argument.

If it happens again I would let the police come and cite them for whatever they can. If it keeps happening you may have some more grounds to have a protection order filed.

Of course the best course is to try and work things out with your wife. If you have no children together and it can’t be worked out you may need to suck it up and just get out while you can. There is really only two options.

Good luck!

[cakeshooter]

That's a pretty tough situation.
Actually I think you did OK. You kept your cool and avoided confrontation.
It sucks that your wife is using her family to gain some leverage after an argument.

If it happens again I would let the police come and cite them for whatever they can. If it keeps happening you may have some more grounds to have a protection order filed.

Of course the best course is to try and work things out with your wife. If you have no children together and it can’t be worked out you may need to suck it up and just get out while you can. There is really only two options.

Good luck!

Along with that I'd probably give her a gentle ultimatum about what will happen if she does the "Calling mommy and daddy to come over" trick again.... if you have never hit her or otherwise abused her, then she needs to know that's a dirty trick and she has to cowgirl up and work it out like an adult.

She needs to know you WILL call the police if she does it again (and you're not being abusive).

I assume you're not being abusive, but just having to add that in there, because if you are, that's a whole 'nother ballgame...

[zeroflat24]

You sure handled it better than i would have. I cant stand people screaming in my face like that. i would have tweaked. well handled.

[kel ruger man]

best thing to do in that situation, especially if your wife told them to stay, just leave the house for an hour and come back. i would have been pissed off because the wife was doing that shit on purpose just to piss you off. i am not the type to hold grudges, so i would just blow it off.

then get even later

[rugerchaz]

Sorry to hear you went through that horrendous ordeal mate!

I`ve had my share of marital carnage....IMO,

Continue the counseling, certainly worth a fair-shake; however, if you dont notice any reasonable improvement as well as the animosity from that tragic incident slowly diminishing, than as another poster suggest, Lawyer Up!

My fiance now, Not Even my wife yet has been showing "Warning signs" of a diabolical, spiteful bitch at times!!! but im sorta glutten for punishment, so I masochisticly dig being abused by women - Only `Thing on GODS green earth I allow to ruin my life!

[350CI]

wow talk about disrespectful women...

i remember my aunt trying this stunt w/ my dad, man it was hilarious but ofcourse he didn't think so. kept telling her to get the f out of his house and she kept saying my sister lives here i'm not going and f'n where, finally auntie's husband shows up(not good for him).

dad said, oh you wanna try me...

went upstairs, took a piss and came back down with his shotgun and said: i not asking again, everyone started yelling while me and my lil brother are laughing our asses off and suddenly you heard the rack of a shotgun, you could hear a pin drop but i have never seen anyone pack up and clear out that fast...

until this very day, my mom will ask my dad if its ok for her sister to come over, lol...

i think you did well man, w/o things getting physical, the wows of marriage!