Ever have a jerk unkowingly almost catch one?

[God's Country]

I haven't thought about this for years. At least ten years ago (I was living in the Pocono's)one Saturday afternoon I was home and there was a sudden loud banging at my door. My front door. Nobody ever comes to the front door.
A rural area only one neighbor across the road. A rare event. Again really obnoxious banging on the door. Back then I carried a S&W mod 586. Just due to the unusual occurrence, before I opened the door I had the magnum drawn behind my back. Yes I said. Some big buffoon was standing there red faced with his little daughter balling, and asked in his predicable tone if my dog was running around loose. Now of course my dogs were behind me barking at the time. So of course I'm looking at him in disbelief and said my dogs are in the house. He proceeds to tell me he almost hit a dog and his little girl was scared for the dog.
Uhuh so you came to the first door and decided to take care of it huh, I said.
Well do you know who's dog it is he says, slightly less irritated. Uhh I was in the house. Now all this time the door is just cracked because my dogs are trying to get out, and I have a .357 behind my back with my thumb on the hammer, wondering what this nut is going to do, and he's standing there looking at me stupid wondering why my x-ray vision wasn't working. So after a brief moment
his brain processed and cycled and he just turned around daughter in tow got back in his truck and drove away. His truck off course was in the road and still running. No apology just turned around as abruptly as he came to my door like a programmed cyborg. As he drove away all was revealed. He was from Joysey.
Now before I offend anyone I was born in rural New Jersey and there are people from Jersey and people from Joysey. He was the latter.

I assume he was just some hot head trying to be tough for his little girl. Daddy's gonna get the guy that made you cry honey. Daddy will show you what an ass I am. Daddy gonna show you how grow up and date losers. If Daddy made half a step toward the door when I opened it Daddy's little girl would have seen him catch one in the head. She probably would have been better off.

Well that's one of my more bizarre encounters with the shallow end of the gene pool. Would like to here yours. Not necessarily looking for close encounters with muggers just odd people who just really have no clue because they think they're still in high school or something, but no rules.

[LorDiego01]

Funny.. I was in a similar situation, but completely different

It was me, my best friend and a girl, we were going up to the poconos for a college skying/party trip.

It was rather late, probably past midnight, we were sooo lost its not even funny, and running low on gas too. All this going up and down all those little backroads to find that damn lodge were we would meet our group.

So we come upon this house, lights are on, we figured we could knock on the door and ask for direcctions.

Big Mistake.

About 30 seconds after knocking on the door, some old geezer comes out from the second floor window with a shotgun pointed at us, first thing he yells is

"GET OUT OF MY PROPERTY!!!"

To which I say (hands up in the air), "Easy MAN! We are lost, just need direcc.."

"GET OFF MY DAMN PROPERTY BOY!!!"

As we are slowly backing away, our bimbo yells

"You are not very nice MISTER!"

Then he cocks his shotgun, and we dart for the car.

End of story.

FOR THE RECORD

Every other one of my experiences with the local folk of the Poconos has been outstanding, and I go up there for a short vacation every single winter.

[God's Country]

Holy S@#t was that you! sorry.

Funny


That was going to be tomorrows story.

[jsmithxd]

Let me give you some background before I start this story. I live in northeast Reading. Not a bad neighborhood but we have our share of problems. About 2 years ago this family straight out of some backwoods inbred community in West Virginia moved in across the street. No father in the house, the oldest son in his 20's was arrested last summer for setting a grocery store on fire and her other son who was about 4 was taking by children services due to neglect. The mom looks like a 4 foot troll who's as big around as she is tall. Their house was condemned a few months ago by the city codes dept and she has been living up the street with some other strange guy.

So here we go. About 3 weeks ago I fell asleep while watching tv on the sofa one night. My wife and children upstairs sleeping. It's 3 AM and someone starts pounding on the door so hard it wakes me up out of a dead sleep (which is next to impossible. A nuclear bomb could go off and i'd be the last one to know). I sit up thinking I'm hearing things and sure enough another bang bang bang on the door. I grab my glock off the table and go to the door thinking maybe its the police going to tell me my car is stolen or something but I open the door and there stand this troll of a woman. She proceeds to tell me that her and the weird guy up the street are locked out and do i know how to pick a lock? I said, lady, its 3 oclock in the f**in morning...slammed the door shut and went to bed.

[God's Country]

It's hard to believe a mountain family from WV would be stupid enough to do something like that. If the situation were reversed you'd be dead McCoy or is it Hatfield.

Buy the way I was a smidge offended by:

“some backwoods inbred community” not really

[xflyboy]

mid sept 01 (couple weeks after 9-11) 10:30 pm someone begins beating on my front door sounded like they wanted to knock it of the hinges grab my beretta and cycle one into chamber where person at door can hear (figure sound would scare them if they meant harm). BTW i live in second floor apartment. person at door starts screaming to put the gun down to me while im inside the house i ask who it is only response is " put the gun down buddy" we repeat the cycle couple more times before he says "its the police" whom we never called. when i answer the door he starts asking is this the XXXXX residence i say ya he starts about on internet accidental 911 dial etc... finally comes down to he needs to tell my 7th grade son to call another officerr about a fight he saw after school. he then tells me i shouldn't answer the door with a gun "if you're scared call 911" i tell him he shouldn't beat on peoples door like he did either.

[scoutjoe]

We had a weekend up at camp (for sake of us being able to go there it shall remain nameless) there was bout 6-7 of us in the cabin, i was on the phone with the g\f giving her directions when my buddies car alarm starts going crazy.

*note* "camping" for us is in a cabin, booze and board games at night, guns for blowing the bejesus outta things during the day.

this being said I hadn't had anything to drink yet, neither did my buddy, we go outside and investigate, 590 in my hands and a winchester 1200 in his, the driver of our truck bouncing down the lane had a single shot 20, jump in the back of the truck and head down the lane in the only logical direction that a person could go.

didn't find anybody, followed tracks out to the main road. We did find some stoners down at the end of the main road. We had fun with them (the guns were down all we did was pretend to be cops and knocked on the window with mag lights in hand, that was enough to get them all riled up)

[Holleta]

I had a similar to Diego's. Brother and I went spotting deer and consuming.....ummm "beverage" many years back in a rural area (where I now happen to live) 30 minutes or so from home and on the backside of the Poconos. It's a beautiful summer night and the windows on the car are open. We are spotting deer on a dirt road with a few houses/trailers along it with fields and...WTF?? Is that a Buffalo???!!! Yup....that's a F'in Buffalo..or Bison or something. A few seconds later we hear a voice from a 40 something woman (shemale?) with a 2 pack a day + a JD chaser voice say " I blow your F'in heads off!!!! (Shot gun racks and we see barrel out trailer window pointing at us 30 feet or so away) We boogie real fast and end of story for the night.

20+ years later I meet this "woman"...she is rough. I find out through conversation she had Buffalo at the property and people shot at them at night with a 22 a few times. She dumped a load of buckshot into the truck of someone who shot one night.

Funny.. I was in a similar situation, but completely different

It was me, my best friend and a girl, we were going up to the Poconos for a college skying/party trip.

It was rather late, probably past midnight, we were sooo lost its not even funny, and running low on gas too. All this going up and down all those little backroads to find that damn lodge were we would meet our group.

So we come upon this house, lights are on, we figured we could knock on the door and ask for direcctions.

Big Mistake.

About 30 seconds after knocking on the door, some old geezer comes out from the second floor window with a shotgun pointed at us, first thing he yells is

"GET OUT OF MY PROPERTY!!!"

To which I say (hands up in the air), "Easy MAN! We are lost, just need direcc.."

"GET OFF MY DAMN PROPERTY BOY!!!"

As we are slowly backing away, our bimbo yells

"You are not very nice MISTER!"

Then he cocks his shotgun, and we dart for the car.

End of story.

FOR THE RECORD

Every other one of my experiences with the local folk of the Poconos has been outstanding, and I go up there for a short vacation every single winter.

[God's Country]

mid sept 01 (couple weeks after 9-11) 10:30 pm someone begins beating on my front door sounded like they wanted to knock it of the hinges grab my beretta and cycle one into chamber where person at door can hear (figure sound would scare them if they meant harm). BTW i live in second floor apartment. person at door starts screaming to put the gun down to me while im inside the house i ask who it is only response is " put the gun down buddy" we repeat the cycle couple more times before he says "its the police" whom we never called. when i answer the door he starts asking is this the XXXXX residence i say ya he starts about on internet accidental 911 dial etc... finally comes down to he needs to tell my 7th grade son to call another officerr about a fight he saw after school. he then tells me i shouldn't answer the door with a gun "if you're scared call 911" i tell him he shouldn't beat on peoples door like he did either.

Well he was right. He was there for you already. Typical ignorant LEO.
No offense to the other kind.

[God's Country]

[QUOTE=Holleta;47822]

" I blow your F'in heads off!!!!

Yeee haw now that's the Pocono's I remember