Time to "man up" when wives say "no" to guns

[tommy610]

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Text of article:

Time to "man up" when wives say no to guns.
from Christian Gun Owner by Mark Rogers
I'm gonna really skate on thin ice here and I realize I could be unintentionally or intentionally misunderstood for what I'm about to say, but I can't stand it any longer. I've had too many men write to me, seen them on forums and other places stating their wives "won't let them" carry a gun, keep a gun at home for protection, or even have a gun at all. Most all of the men writing to me are Christians which makes it even worse.

First, if I was of such personality and temperament that my wife could order me to not do what I believe is right to protect myself and my family (including her) I sure as heck wouldn't write to a bunch of other men and tell them about it.

The Christian men that often write to me almost always say their wives play the "God will take care of us" card spiritualizing their irrational fear of guns and using the spiritual to forbid their husbands from doing what is right. Time to man up.

There are scores of scriptures that clearly show that God used men with weapons in the Old Testament to fight wars. He didn't tell people to fight with their bare hands and did not tell them to leave their weapons at home. In many places God was specific about how armies should arm themselves as He went before and fought for them. But he expected them to arm themselves.

And there is really a bottom line here. Exactly what are men doing allowing themselves to develop into weak kneed weenies acquiescing to their wives' dominating demands to accommodate their irrational fear? If a guy is being considerate of his wife in this matter and considers her fear to be an overriding factor in acquiring firearms, ok. But most often, the men that write to me and to forums are afraid of their wives' wrath. Time to man up.

If a wife is going to tell a husband he "can't" ......whatever he believes is right, and base it on what she thinks God will do without any action on her or his part, it's only fair that the husband should respond with scriptural evidence that it is wise to keep current arms to defend home and family. Now normally that still doesn't work but it's the right first thing to do. Because wives like this will play the God card, ignoring the Biblical propriety of considering the head of the house and his responsibility to take care of the family.

So, here's my bottom line advice for men whose wives are forbidding them to own, carry or defend the home with firearms. First, try reason. Then try scripture. Then, tell your wife that you love her and you would do anything for her including making her angry by doing what you believe is right to protect yourself and your family. That means if she says you can't have guns, and nothing else works, you man up and do what's right.

This is not about turning around and "making" your wife do anything. Do everything you can to alleviate her fears. Keep guns' visible presence at a minimum to keep from causing upset. This is considerate and right. But it's also what you must do if you believe it's the right thing to do.

This is also not about becoming a tyrant in your home and treating your wife like a subject (even if she's been treating you like that). I love my wife, but she drives me nuts with some things she does that I don't consider safe. She loves to ride around in her convertible with the top down which is ok. But she likes to drive that way at night too. It makes me crazy. She is putting herself in danger and she won't carry a gun. But, I'm not going to start "forbidding" things. I do go as far as insisting she carry pepper spray in some cases and she has grudgingly agreed to that just to shut me up. And I've got my little collection of things I do that she thinks are not the wisest, but she is considerate enough of me to not start "ordering" me to do or not do things.

So, I'm not suggesting anybody start "making" their wives do anything. I'm suggesting that if you as a husband and Biblical head of your household believe that it's the right thing to do to protect you and yours with firearms, quit writing to forums wringing your hands and man up. Do what you know is right. And deal with the issues that follow. But do it.

That being said, here's the disclaimer in all this. Sometimes a wife's objection is not based on her fear of guns, but on a fear of the general historical actions of her husband. If a man has not been someone his wife can trust, has historically caused grief for his family through foolishness or immorality, then her fear may be well founded based on the man, not the gun.

If that's anybody reading this, forget the guns for a while and spend your time rebuilding trust with your wife. Because in your case the guns are of secondary importance to the work you have to do to get your wife to trust you in general.

[imashooter2]

The most liberating day of my life was the day I figured out I probably wasn't getting laid tonight anyway. Smooth sailing after that.

[PennsyPlinker]

There is a relational component here that goes deeper than a wife telling her husband he is not allowed to have or carry a gun, but it is a Christian thing, and I am not going to go into further detail here. While this problem is widespread across groups of various beliefs, it has a specific Christian solution and this guy isn't addressing it. I might join his blog to discuss it though.

[Siobhra]

If I married again I would not let my other half own or handle a gun.




Until he/she showed me he can handle it safely.

My ex was one who I never allowed. He was a stupid drunk when he drank. The kind of person who when drunk would clown around and shoot guns in the air. I took his guns away from him and only let him handle them if I was around to 'babysit'.

[FMJ]

I hate going into these "religious beliefs" things because I know how touchy a subject it can become. I respect those who have thier spiritual beliefs and I also believe that whatever belief you have, as long as it's fullfilling to you, then it's the right belief for you but this is the 21st century. We're not living in the 1700's anymore and I think most people know better that "god", whomever that represents to you, isn't going to keep bad things from happening to you. God will not keep the bad guys from entering your home, or robbing you on that dark street late at night. God will give you a feeling of redemption. A comfort of belonging to something greater, etc but it will not stop you from being stricken down by the stray bullets of a gangster gunfight. In this day and age, I think its important to have a clear picture of what is within ones control. Those who leave thier fate up to spirituality usually meet thier god far too soon. Those who have a place for thier spirituality thats separate from thier destiny begin to understand that they may choose that destiny. God helps those who help themselves.

[Dannytheman]

I hate when ever I read a letter/comment that says, "I have to ask my wife?!?!?" I might say I will discuss it with my wife, or we will talk about it, but I never ask permission for anything. I did not lose my balls as I spoke "I do"!

"Man up" is a good mantra for level headed men. We have been deballed by relatively new power of the woman!

[PennsyPlinker]

I hate when ever I read a letter/comment that says, "I have to ask my wife?!?!?" I might say I will discuss it with my wife, or we will talk about it, but I never ask permission for anything. I did not lose my balls as I spoke "I do"!

"Man up" is a good mantra for level headed men. We have been deballed by relatively new power of the woman!

I wrote that I would not comment on the religious aspect of this post, but I will comment on the secular aspects. This is a good way to start your way to divorce court. There is nothing manly about showing a lack of consideration for your wife. Conversely, it is not unmanly to show your wife respect and consideration. Love is more than getting your rocks off in a convenient way.

A month or so ago I wanted to trade a pistol I did not like for one that I did in the case at my local shop. The net difference was $100 out of my pocket. I told the owner I was going to check with my wife first. I already knew what the answer would be, but out of respect, I waited until I could talk with her. The guys at the gun shop were giving me grief, telling me the same thing you wrote in your post. Don't ask, just do it.

But I did ask. Not only did I end up getting the pistol I wanted, but I also got a huge amount of gratitude from my wife for considering her opinion and feelings. I could have saved a little time and just bought it. Then I would have one, but not the other. In fact, it would have been a source of resentment. And patterns like that grow. People who persist in living like that find themselves sleeping alone with half their stuff and trying to figure out what went wrong.

I've seen it over and over again in the 25 plus years we have been married. Some guys will get a wife that never says a thing, and some guys are "lucky" enough to have so much money that it doesn't matter, but I don't fit into either of those categories, and I know from experience that most people don't. There are plenty of people walking around after one, two, and even three unsuccessful marriages who still don't get the concept of being considerate and thoughtful towards the one they married.

[FMJ]

I hate when ever I read a letter/comment that says, "I have to ask my wife?!?!?" I might say I will discuss it with my wife, or we will talk about it, but I never ask permission for anything. I did not lose my balls as I spoke "I do"!

"Man up" is a good mantra for level headed men. We have been deballed by relatively new power of the woman!

Agreed. In many instances, and rightfully so, a woman rarely needs and will often state, permission from her husband is not required for doing something she chooses. I see no reason why it should be so the other way around. Permission is different from agreement.

[stephpd]

I hate when ever I read a letter/comment that says, "I have to ask my wife?!?!?" I might say I will discuss it with my wife, or we will talk about it, but I never ask permission for anything. I did not lose my balls as I spoke "I do"!

"Man up" is a good mantra for level headed men. We have been deballed by relatively new power of the woman!

I seldom 'ask my wife's permission' for anything. Much like she seldom asks for mine. Been married 20 years and I don't feel any need to discuss what I spend 'my' money on. Same for 'her' money. Once the bills have been paid discretionary money is up to the owner.

If I want a new gun, tool or toy it's my money and I'll spend it on what I want. It's not like she doesn't do the same for what she wants. When she asks why I need a new gun I just point to her clothes, shoes and jewelry and ask why she needs all of that stuff.

As far as the Christian aspect that Commandment better translates 'You shouldn't murder' Killing covers all forms of assisted death, while murder is a unjust killing. Self defense and protecting other from violence isn't part of that theme. That's also why many see abortion as murder and not just a selective medical procedure.

[animalmother85]

I just reach out and smack her in the teeth with my extended pimp-hand, "get back in line, woman!", then make her sleep on the couch and eat oatmeal.