Lost the Lady today.

[Shadowline]

I just have to comment on this one. I was married almost 15 yrs before I bought a handgun. My wife, while not anti-gun by any stretch, was NOT on board with my carrying concealed or open. To her, the gun was for practice and home defense only.

In less than a month from purchase of the gun I was open carrying, and wearing it in a Serpa around the house. Now she says stuff like "go grab your gun, I need you to run to the store". I'm not saying this would have been the way your relationship went, but sometimes you just have to work with someone and be patient in order to make the relationship work.

[TheWolff]

That's like her asking you to please brush your teeth or change your tie before going out to dinner. "What? Change my tie? Fuck you, bitch, I'm leaving!"

It's more like her saying she's not going out with you until you take off your tie. She wasn't asking. It could be that she doesn't ties, or it could be that she has "control issues" that may not be worth the trouble.

[mollymayhem82]

I don't know anything about either party in this situation, but look at it this way. How many women would have been better off if they hadn't persisted in a relationship doomed to failure anyway? Perhaps both of them are better off without the other.

It's more like her saying she's not going out with you until you take off your tie. She wasn't asking. It could be that she doesn't ties, or it could be that she has "control issues" that may not be worth the trouble.

Both of you may be right on the money, but it's not like he gave her the opportunity to explain why, or cared about her opinion on the matter. Maybe she doesn't like guns. Maybe she doesn't care if he carries, but only concealed. Maybe she's heard all the horror stories associated with it, and doesn't want to be in the middle of dinner at the Olive Garden when a bunch of cops show up to question him, and embarrass her. He didn't give it any thought, he just decided that her opinion was invalid.

You know Alex, Pennsy, and you know how he prefers to carry. I don't care for open carry, but that's his thing. When we go out, I don't pay much attention to it. If something were to ever go down, and I was there, I'd stick by him, but he'd get an earful later. If I'd met him while he was open carrying, I don't know if I would have pursued things with him. Not because I don't like men who carry (because I love it), but because we were in a playground, and I would have seen it as being tacky. It's like men who wear sandals. I just can't get into a guy if he's wearing sandals. Yeah, flame me all you like, that's my opinion. I've asked him on one or two occasions not to open carry, because of certain circumstances, and he's happily obliged me, without complaint. He respects my opinions, and he respects me.

Now, I'm sure if I told him he could never open carry again, that would be a looooooooong "discussion". But that would never be an issue, anway, because I respect him, too.

I don't think Sprrdhawk44 ever once gave her opinion any thought. I think that when he left, she lucked out.

[ByblosHex]

He doesn't owe it to her to dedicate any time to 'turning' her. My GF was anti-gun out of ignorance when I met her. Now she open carries right next to me every day, but it took a lot of effort on my part to get it that way. Having done it, I cant say I blame any guy who would rather walk away then get into it with a girl. Especially since I know I got 'lucky' and there was a good chance it could have been all for nothing. I think it has more to do with respect than anything else. A girl who is going to demand that you CC isn't being very respectful IMO.

[mollymayhem82]

He doesn't owe it to her to dedicate any time to 'turning' her. My GF was anti-gun out of ignorance when I met her. Now she open carries right next to me every day, but it took a lot of effort on my part to get it that way. Having done it, I cant say I blame any guy who would rather walk away then get into it with a girl. Especially since I know I got 'lucky' and there was a good chance it could have been all for nothing. I think it has more to do with respect than anything else. A girl who is going to demand that you CC isn't being very respectful IMO.

Was she worth it?

[ByblosHex]

Was she worth it?

Yes. She's also 1:10 that turned out to be worth it. I don't blame anyone for not going against the odds. It's prob easier to find one who isn't in need of conversion. Especially for those who don't seek a relationship to be considered a challenging endeavor which will likely result in utter failure.

[mollymayhem82]

Yes. She's also 1:10 that turned out to be worth it. I don't blame anyone for not going against the odds. It's prob easier to find one who isn't in need of conversion. Especially for those who don't seek a relationship to be considered a challenging endeavor which will likely result in utter failure.

Everyone has baggage. I swore I'd never date a guy who had a kid, and then I went and got knocked up by one, with a piece of shit ex, and legal issues, no less, and my life is beautiful.

She was worth it, right? That's awesome. It's more awesome because it shouldn't have worked. Nothing good is ever easy. At least that's what people say. It would be nice if they could be, though, at least once in awhile.

[PennsyPlinker]

You know Alex, Pennsy, and you know how he prefers to carry. I don't care for open carry, but that's his thing. When we go out, I don't pay much attention to it. If something were to ever go down, and I was there, I'd stick by him, but he'd get an earful later. If I'd met him while he was open carrying, I don't know if I would have pursued things with him. Not because I don't like men who carry (because I love it), but because we were in a playground, and I would have seen it as being tacky. It's like men who wear sandals. I just can't get into a guy if he's wearing sandals. Yeah, flame me all you like, that's my opinion. I've asked him on one or two occasions not to open carry, because of certain circumstances, and he's happily obliged me, without complaint. He respects my opinions, and he respects me.

This is the essence of it all right here. It's probably a good thing you didn't meet him when he was OC with that rat of his either.

[bac0nfat]

For all her qualities, she had shown me that once fixated on an idea, it's over. I would have never gotten through to her, so I didn't bother trying.

This is the part that would be a deal-breaker for me. That's a character flaw that probably will never change. Sounds like it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

My wife was anti-gun when I met her, but that was before I owned any guns. When I wanted to buy a shotgun for the house, she said she refused to live in a house that had a gun in it. I expressed my views about it, and she essentially changed her mind. The fact that she was able to listen to my opinion outweighed the fact that she was initially anti-gun. Now she owns four guns and keeps asking me to buy her more.

[ehidle]

For all her qualities, she had shown me that once fixated on an idea, it's over. I would have never gotten through to her, so I didn't bother trying.

It's not as hard as you think. They just need to learn things for themselves. Pushing them will get you nowhere.

Here is an analogy.

Say you want to move your car over by one parking space. One way you can do it is to just get out, and push on the side of your car to try to get it to move over. Obviously this doesn't work, and won't, no matter how hard you push. So, you just abandon it and go get a new car, and have to go through the process of learning about all of its quirks all over again.

But, if you get your keyring out, fumble around for the right key, get into the car, insert the key, jiggle it just right so that the core will turn, then carefully massage the accelerator and ignition so that the car starts, check your mirrors, put the car in reverse, wait for the transmission to engage, then slowly back out of your space, carefully manipulating the steering wheel to line up the car just right as you go, aim at the new location you want the car to be in, put it in drive, and slowly move forward while continuing to carefully manipulate the controls just right... voila, the car is where you need it to be, and you didn't have to go get a new car and learn about all of its new idiosyncrasies.