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[WVneighbor]

This shit storm is really getting to me...I'm about to panic...I mean just what kind of shit storm is this we are expecting...Do you have any idea how many different types of poo there are out there? Each type will require a different response. I can't prepare for them all, it boggles the mind. HELP!!!

1. GHOST POO: The type of poo you feel coming out but when you check out the toilet there's nothing there.

2. CLEAN POO: Type of poo that comes out but when you wipe your ass the paper comes out clean.

3. STUBBORN POO: You wipe your ass 50 times and you still have some left.

4. SEQUEL POO: When you put your pants and zip up and then realize you gotta poo some more.

5. BRAIN DAMAGE POO: Type of poo that needs a lot of effort to come out and when you're done you feel slightly dizzy..

6. CORN POO: No explanation is necessary here.

7. GODZILLA POO: The type of poo that is so huge that makes you think you should chop it up before flushing.

8. REBELLIOUS POO: Type of poo that comes back after multiple flushings.

9. WET BUTT CHEEK: Also known as"Power Dump Shit". The type of poo that when it comes out it makes a splash on the toilet that wets your butt cheeks.

10. ICEBERG POO: The type of poo that is so big that some of it reaches the surface of the water in the toilet.

You forgot one:

11. Stealth Poo: The type of poo that sneaks up on you, like when you take a piss, think you have to fart and squeeze it out only to realize thats not a fart after all and have to do the butt-cheek-squinched-wobble-walk to the toilet.

[Frenchy]

Now for a related commercial break... Joke time! not that this thread is not a joke in its self...

------------------------------------------

A young indian scout comes riding into town from the prarie and runs straight to the town doctor. Out of breath and distraught, he interupts the doctor who is tending to another patient and says to him..



"Big chief, no fart! Big chief no fart!"


The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Ah, your indian chief has gas! Here, take these two pills with you back to the prarie and tell your chief to take them. That should fix his illness."


And with that, the scout returned to the prarie.


The next day the indian scout came riding back into town and again ran to the town doctor, still frantic, and when he got to the doctor he pleaded once again..


"Big chief no fart! Big chief no fart!"


The doctor looked puzzled.. "Hmm. Those pills didn’t help? He must have a more severe case of gas than I originally thought. Go back to your chief and tell him to take FOUR more of these."


He handed the scout four more pills and the scout took off like a shot, back to the prarie.


The next day the indian scout came riding into town again, faster than ever! He ran up to the doctor and began yelling jibberish that the doctor couldn’t understand.


The doctor began to calm him down, "Woah woah, there. Calm down. What’s the problem? Still ’Big Chief no fart’"?


The scout looks him in the eyes and says..

"Big fart no chief!"


Now that is a Shit storm!

[ShakeyDad]

You forgot one:

11. Stealth Poo: The type of poo that sneaks up on you, like when you take a piss, think you have to fart and squeeze it out only to realize thats not a fart after all and have to do the butt-cheek-squinched-wobble-walk to the toilet.

Don't forget about #12. Holy Shit : This is the one that creeps up on you in the middle of Sunday service. Forgoing God's wrath, you leave the building to get to the nearest facility

[normanvin]

Are we there yet?

[Frenchy]

Are we there yet?

Not quite. But we are getting closer... My expertize

Now in lighter categories of shit storms, there are the farts...
OMG some thing Died inside of you and forgot to crawl out!

Eggy Fart: Smells pretty much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide's). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.


Growling Fart: Happens deep within the rectum, therefore having no smell. Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vet.

Prelude to a Poopie: You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny squeaker fart, and the head of something massive. You quickly tense your buttocks, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.

Beefy One: Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!' Will smell a little like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog-turd.

Squeeky Fart: Sounds like 'Wheeek'. Normally smells foul.

Trouser Ripping Special: Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This one genuinely hurts and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Those sitting nearby at the time will experience hearing loss.

Brewer Fart: You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged deep within your bowels. You reach the conclusion that it is some form of gaseous landmark.

Stalker Fart: Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, in order to save people the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath. You go back into the room, but LO! The foul nasal bombardment has followed you and you are duly criticised for poor manners.
On The Spot Fart: You didn't even know it was there, but suddenly 'Brrmp'.

Hydrated Flatulation (a.k.a Wet Fart): The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold, wet, sticky sensation when you walk. You may not like this little bugger, but you feel right at home with it.

Underwater Fart: Often done in the bathtub or while swimming. Sounds like the engine of a nuclear sub. Can be smelt on rising to the surface. Experienced windbreakers will often catch the fart in an upturned jam jar, in order to set light to them.

Tandem Fart: Tandem Farts are the worst smelling and longest lasting farts ever to be recorded. They are so named since they are the only fart that is detectable by the nose on a Tandem bicycle (bicycle built for two) as it is being pedaled. A tandem fart occurs when the captain of the bike farts and the stoker smells it. As you can imagine, the fart must be extremely strong to compete with the wind and to get to the stoker's nose. Extremely disgusting farts off of a tandem are sometimes called Tandem farts, but they can never be confirmed as true Tandem.

Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart: The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odor.

Windy Fart: The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh' and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.

Worrying Fart: The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underwear at the first possible opportunity.

Compost Fart: You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well, if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.

Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart): The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. Needless to say, if you were in a business meeting, you're screwed.

Bunbuster Fart: 'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much, much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.

Escape Pod Fart: You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible and no one heard. You take deep sniffs through your nose, as discreetly as possible. You smell nothing but your deodorant. Then 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone begins to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.

Sphinctal Napalm: Tends to occur a few hours after a hot curry. Nevermind the smell, worry about the burning sensation and the nasty stain you know it must have left.

Burble Fart: Bubbly!

Not Now! (a.k.a Anal Control Fart): You feel the presence of a mighty fart, but are unable to release it due to your situation. Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and on other such inexcusable occasions. You clench your buttocks together so hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to win out in the end.

GNL Fart: Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, only to realize tragically that this is much more than a fart ...
Gunshot Fart: Gunshot farts sound just like a gunshot. They are exceedingly rare. In fact, they are so rare that most people don't know they even exist. One report continues: "I have only witnessed one gunshot fart myself, my own, and almost scared the shit out of my girlfriend who was lying asleep beside me at the time. She thought it was a gunshot, and it was so named." A few others have referred to these rare creatures, so proving their existence.

Machine gun fart: Multiple farts that seem to happen when you sneeze or laugh.. generally sending you into a fit of laughter and causing more to fore off...

Devils revenge: that fart that happens after you had hot chilly, much hotter on the way out then you remember it going in with beer... your eyes start to water, when you whipe this one off... You generaly wet the toilet paper so the friction does not light a small bonfire on your ass.

Star Trek: The fart that leaves klingons around your anus.

Sleepless night: Combination SNL and Hydrated Flatulation you don't dare fall asleep knowing you will wake up full of it.

Walking Fart: bubbles come out with every footstep you take racing to the can... generally bursting into the original shitstorm just as you get to the bathroom and get your pants undone.

Running Fart: one would think this is a quicker paced walking fart, but it is already too late, No pain, no strain, just wait and drain.. Whipe down and wash after. Also known as the bicycle clip fart... Honest I did not know untill I took off the clip...

[soberbyker]

I sent a message to the contact listing, but haven't received an answer yet. How can I quickly unregister from this site. I would like a complete erasure, like I was never here. Thanks.

[Tequila Sunrise]

I sent a message to the contact listing, but haven't received an answer yet. How can I quickly unregister from this site. I would like a complete erasure, like I was never here. Thanks.

Join the CIA. Or become a New Jersey Governor, both work well.

[RONNIE77]

I am dying to know what "Shit Storm" this joker is speaking of....

[SilentRage]

I gotta find these guys , looks like they heard about "The Storm" and
are preparing for it . lol


http://www.break.com/usercontent/200...lc-216765.html

[GRoPA]

OMG!!! He was right!!!!!





Run for cover!!!