Gun Humor

[Posit]

Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, www.thunderranchinc.com/ is part Drill Instructor and
part stand-up comic.

Here are a few of his observations on tactics, firearms, self defense
and life as we know it in the civilized world.

"The handgun would not be my choice of weapon if I knew I was going
to a fight. I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an RPG or an Atomic Bomb
instead."

"The two most important rules in a gunfight are: 'always cheat' and
'always win.'"

"Every time I teach a class, I discover I don't know something."

"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. I may get
killed with my own gun, but he's gonna have to beat me to death with
it, 'cause it's going to be empty."

"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not
loadin, you should be movin', if you're not movin', someone's gonna
cut your head
off and put it on a stick."

"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight
in your back pocket. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an
angel or
the tooth fairy, and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."

"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."

"Nothing adds a little class to a sniper course like a babe in a
ghilliesuit."

"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something
else becomes available."

"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's
ridiculous. If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be
paranoid for?"

"Don't shoot fast, shoot good."

"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will
work but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head
is pretty much the universal language."

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long
you live depends on how well you do it."

"You cannot save the planet. You may be able to save yourself and
your family."

"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until
someone makes us go away and either way it will be exciting."

More Excellent Gun Wisdom.

The purpose of fighting is to Win.

There is no possible victory in defense.

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more
important than either.

The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The
reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and
asked him, 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they
don't make a 46.'

An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady
commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your
pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting
trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!

[NY Refugee]

Excellent advice for all

[PirateSteve]

Bravo! Nice collection

Makes me remember than when people ask if I'm expecting trouble when I'm carrying, I reply "No, if I knew there was going to be trouble, I'd be somewhere else."

[ReconLdr]

Originally Posted by PirateSteve

Bravo! Nice collection

Makes me remember than when people ask if I'm expecting trouble when I'm carrying, I reply "No, if I knew there was going to be trouble, I'd be somewhere else."

If I were expecting trouble, I'd have brought my rifle... I think that one is my favorite.

[Iron Sights]

Originally Posted by Posit

Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, www.thunderranchinc.com/ is part Drill Instructor and
part stand-up comic.

Here are a few of his observations on tactics, firearms, self defense
and life as we know it in the civilized world.

"The handgun would not be my choice of weapon if I knew I was going
to a fight. I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an RPG or an Atomic Bomb
instead."

"The two most important rules in a gunfight are: 'always cheat' and
'always win.'"

"Every time I teach a class, I discover I don't know something."

"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. I may get
killed with my own gun, but he's gonna have to beat me to death with
it, 'cause it's going to be empty."

"If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not
loadin, you should be movin', if you're not movin', someone's gonna
cut your head
off and put it on a stick."

"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight
in your back pocket. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an
angel or
the tooth fairy, and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."

"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."

"Nothing adds a little class to a sniper course like a babe in a
ghilliesuit."

"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something
else becomes available."

"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's
ridiculous. If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be
paranoid for?"

"Don't shoot fast, shoot good."

"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will
work but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head
is pretty much the universal language."

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long
you live depends on how well you do it."

"You cannot save the planet. You may be able to save yourself and
your family."

"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until
someone makes us go away and either way it will be exciting."

More Excellent Gun Wisdom.

The purpose of fighting is to Win.

There is no possible victory in defense.

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more
important than either.

The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The
reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and
asked him, 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they
don't make a 46.'

An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady
commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your
pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting
trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!

I've heard these before but they are still good.
Rep+

[ungawa]

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long
you live depends on how well you do it."

I know where this one came from, and where he didn't get it from, it's 60 years old LOL. Black Hats