Homeland Security Codes

[GRIZZLYBEAR]

I stopped at a store yesterday and there was a sign in the store window giving a Homeland Security Code. Since I was bored, waiting for Mamabear to finish a "quick" shopping trip, I came up with my verision of the Homeland Security Codes.



Green- carry your J frame with only 5 shots
- Deport all illegals

Blue - Carry a K frame and a speed loader
- Stop issuing all visas for anyone
without a good reason for being here.

Yellow- Move up to a real revolver, a nice N
frame with a speedloader.
-Cancel all visas from countries with significant populations of terrorists

Orange- Carry either a shotgun or rifle
familiar with. Use the N frame as a
backup.
-Require ID of everyone that even looks
like they're foreign born or talk
funny (that puts those from NJ and NY
in a bad position out here in fly over
territory.)

Red - Don't go anyplace without someone
covering you. Carry the same calibers
of handguns, but one semi-auto rifle
and the other a shotgun.
-Fence our borders and call out the
militia to enforce (you know the
militia, the one understood for most
of the last 227 years.)

Thoughts or comments,

grizz

[JLStorm]

hehe thats a good one...I dont know if you listen to Lewis Black at all, but he is one of my favorite comedians. This is a quote from a standup he did a few years back, sorry for the foul language, but it looses its oomph without it.


"Homeland security is a problem. It's a good idea, but it's a problem because the man who runs it is Tom Ridge, and he is someone who has the leadership qualities of a gerbil. He was a part of coming up with what is known as the color coded system of security. You know, orange, and yellow, and what ever the others are. And what's stupid about it is they have the color coding. LIKE WE'RE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!! There's no need for that. Because every time they tell us what the color is, then they have to explain it, so get rid of the colors! Simplify it. There should be three levels of security: 'Jesus Christ.' 'God damn it!' 'FUCK ME!!"

[jdlv4_0]

What no X-Frames?

[GRIZZLYBEAR]

Originally Posted by jdlv4_0

What no X-Frames?

No X-Frame---the Homeland Security doesn't have a Code Black--never use an X-Frame for anything under code level Black


grizz