Rudy, Call Home

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Rudy, Call Home
October 3, 2007
Kathleen Parker

WASHINGTON -- Most experienced adults acknowledge at some point in their
lives that love is a form of temporary insanity.

If only Rudy Giuliani would admit as much. Then we might shed a sliver
of light on his profoundly odd habit of taking cell phone calls from his
wife while in the midst of a speech.

Love at least has clouded his judgment.

Rudy 'n' Judi have been making public woo since they first locked gazes
in a New York cigar bar. We know from the Mrs. that Giuliani is a
"really high-testosterone guy" and nobody doubted it for a minute. We
know from the former mayor that he never can get enough of his
tiara-wearing princess bride.

Or so one would infer from his inability to resist a chat when the mood
swings.

When Judi calls, Rudy answers.

And she calls a lot. Even when America's mayor is speaking to key donors
and potential voters.

Most recently, Giuliani interrupted a speech before the National Rifle
Association (NRA) to talk to snookums. If ever one were going to resist
the urge to play phone-footsie with one's girlfriend, it would be in the
presence of people whose primary concern in life is being able to own
and carry weapons.

Dodge City to Rudy: Those really are pistols in their pockets. Not cell
phones.

As some people love their guns, Rudy apparently loves his chatterbox.
When cell phones ring in crowded rooms, most people panic and
apologetically seek the power button. Not Rudy. He whips his out and
hits the green button. Judi clearly had him at hello.

Thus, while jaws began setting in a room of muted chuckles, Rudy played
public cuckold to his third wife. Feigning amusement and affection while
exchanging sweet nothings, the aspiring president utterly emasculated
himself in front of a crowd whose cumulative testosterone level had the
Army Corps of Engineers on alert.

Then, in a moment of increasingly rare clarity, he told his ladylove
that he couldn't talk right then because he was in the middle of an
important speech. Really? Then he asked if she'd like to say hello to
the nice people in the audience and, no, apparently she wouldn't like
to. He laughed.
The audience didn't.

Finally, Giuliani said, "I love you" and promised to call after the
show. Did he really think the NRA would be amused?

Giuliani pulled a similar stunt in Oklahoma City earlier this year. At a
roundtable of $2,300 donors, Giuliani took a call (not from his wife),
and left the room never to return. There was no explanation offered.
During a larger meeting afterward to a crowd of about 150, each of whom
had paid $500 to hear him talk, Giuliani took another call -- this time
from Judi.

One audience member who asked to remain anonymous told me that everyone
assumed it was a joke at first, and then realized it wasn't. Adding to
the sense of Giuliani's disconnect from reality, she said, was his
inattention to his audience. Many in attendance were from oil companies,
including one who had flown Giuliani on his private jet, yet the
candidate made no comments about energy concerns.

"It was as if he had no clue who his audience was," she said.

Giuliani's phone obsession, which has not been limited to these two
instances, is simply weird and can't be explained rationally. What woman
calls her husband when he's in the middle of a speech? No One Does This.
It's rude. It's silly. It is completely ridiculous.

Giuliani's explanation is that ever since 9/11, he and his wife always
exchange endearments when one of them gets on a plane. Just in case.
That's nice. Can they not say, "I love you?" /before/ the speech? That
usually works well enough for most people.

If Americans are growing weary of the cell phone shtick, they are likely
feeling played by the 9/11 connection. We all marveled at Giuliani's
energy and strength as he helped guide New York after the terrorist
attacks, but perhaps there is a limit to the memory's application.

There are two other possible explanations for Giuliani's behavior.
Either this cellular love fest is a stunt, which reveals a remarkable
lack of judgment. Or he is a narcissist, who, blinded by his own
reflection, has no feel for what others require.

Neither assessment bodes well for a man who wants to be president.

Kathleen Parker's e-mail address is kparker@kparker.com.