Asked Not to Carry Next Week

[jcabin]

Bring it and let him deal with it or dont go.

[Dave in PA]

If you're unwilling to be unarmed, then don't be. Go with deeper concealment. My wife didn't really approve of me CC'ing sometimes, other times she did, a couple of times I semi jokingly asked her little(.380) or big(.40SW) and she said big. MOST times she didn't know I was CC.

[jkp1187]

Depends on a few things. How serious you are with this girl, how much you think this might impact your relationship, how willing you are to be unarmed in this situation.

Only you can answer those questions.

I will say that if (a) you feel that you need to be diplomatic with your girlfriend's father (a perfectly respectable position, after all you may want to ask his permission to marry her at some point if you're serious about her, despite what the swaggering internet cowboys might say,) and (b) you really don't feel comfortable going unarmed in this situation, I'd say your options are:

* Don't go

* carry concealed in such a way that no one else has a chance to know you're carrying. Either take a good quality pocket pistol, or else carry deeply concealed (using something like Smartcarry). (Or maybe just make sure your cover garment stays in place!)

Good luck.

[Exbiker]

Is this just a girlfriend or more? Have you discussed values and other issues important to the both of you?

We roll the dice and play the odds lots of times. When I shower I`m unarmed and look what happened in Psycho.

[Cole]

The question of how to deal with loved ones that have a problem with us carrying comes up frequently here.

It's great that you have a relationship where your decision to carry is respected, and that she approached you with this request . . . instead of an order or ultimatum.

That's a real good sign that you have a wonderful partner and that you're a pretty good guy yourself.

Even the dad sounds like a nice guy, and not unsympathetic to guns.

Do you think it would make sense to talk to the dad directly? If it were me, I'd calmly and respectfully let him know that you 'd spoken with his daughter and she's worried about what he might think. So, you wanted to speak with him about his concerns and explain why you carry (protect his daughter) and how safe you are about it.

At the right time in the conversation, not too early, and to demonstrate that people come before guns, you could offer not to wear it for that weekend if it's really that important to him.

You could mention that on this occasion, out of respect and the spirit of compromise, you would be willing to be uncomfortable just to make him comfortable . . . if that's really what he wants.

If you've approached him the right way, he will let you carry and everybody will be comfortable with it.

[ham385]

Originally Posted by WVneighbor

There was a thread a few weeks or so ago with a similar situation. Friends of the CC'ers wife invited them to a camp, but asked that the hubby not carry. He came and asked for suggestions.

There were some that said to go ahead and carry and screw what anyone thought about it, you have to be prepared, etc, etc.

But I pointed out the people who owned/leased/whatever the camp specifically asked him not to carry and suggested he simply not go if not carrying was not an option.

I'd suggest the same in your situation. Its HIS camper, his home away from home, the rules are his to make, regardless of the reasoning behind making them.

To carry when you were asked not to would be disrespectful, imo.

Having said that ... I'd think about talking to the father and asking him directly. Maybe he won't have a problem with you CCing if it stays concealed. A middle ground so to speak.

Just my $ .02

I have to agree. It's not a public place, it's his camp.

If you CC anyway, it's disrespectful and could cause a strain on your relations, at the very least you are sacrificing your honesty.

If you abide his wishes, you are sacrificing your own principles.

You have two choices that keep your integrity intact.
1. Work it out with him and come to an agreement.
2. Respectfully ( or not so respectfully ) decline the offer.

[jkp1187]

Missed the part where you said it was her father's camp. If it's his property and he's asked you not to carry there...well, it would be disrespectful to not obey his rules.

Of course, sometimes you have to be disrespectful to do what you think is right. But that's a balance you need to strike yourself.

And x2 with talking out with the father.

[clarion44]

It wasn't anyones camp. They are part of a camper club that meet once a month at different camp sites. That wasn't the issue. I guess he's worried about what people think of him or I because I carry.

[XD40coyote]

This stuff is plain weird. My parents who are democrats and some people we know who are old hippies into everything liberal, have no problem at all with carry, but you have rural people in PA, conservatives, and gun owners and the like who don't like it. Heck if I had asked all the people I used to go to the dog park with in Baltimore if they thought CC was something they would like to do, I bet a good deal of them would have said yes. We all lived in a neighborhood with crime problems galore and random thug looking types wandering around all the time. Well that's why most in the group had bigger sized dogs! I know the lady who lived on the 3rd floor above me would have loved to be able to shoot robbers, she had been a crime victim so many times. I also used to know a guy who was Baltimore city boy through and through who had also been a victim more than once and after he was thrown to the ground and nearly robbed ( not his first time being a victim of violent crime) was drooling over small guns in gun stores while he took me to buy a .22 for trapping use, and we were shopping around different stores. He kept talking about how he wanted to shoot crackheads the next time they tried to rob him. But due to the laws in MD, he couldn't get a carry lisc, so he didn't bother buying a gun either. He didn't want to carry illegally and end up in the Zoo, aka city jail.

[jkp1187]

Hope this worked out for you.