[exceltoexcel]

This is a tough one.

First I would try to get my thoughts together as to why you want one.

Is it just for self-defence coming home from your job?

If you stick to that and just that reason, you should have an easy time appealing to her.

First make sure you give a little time between your last conversation about firearms and potentially following this scenario.

When you run across some of the savory people, tell her the story. Tell her your concern when you were dealing with that person. -- i.e. I was worried this guy might do something to hurt me. Then I was concerned about what would happen to you if something happened to me... -- Talk about if you have enough life insurance on you if something happened. -- This discussion will make most women instantly uncomfortable, they will want you to stop talking about the possibility of your death almost instantly. Tell her you don't want to make her uncomfortable but the reality/possibility really has you concerned because you love her and want her to be okay should something happen. Do it calmly, not like you're loosing sleep over it or worry about it every second of the day. Don't come across as paranoid, only logically concerned about her well being.


Repeat this scenario twice three to four days inbetween, without the mention of guns. Until she brings it up on her own. She should start asking you about it or when you're out with friends she will ring it up in conversation. She'll say something like "downtown is really bad [insert your name here] tells me about these people he comes across" . This is you're cue.

Wait until the next day and tell her that you don't like her worrying about you. Bring up that you'd be better off if you had a chance if something happened. That for your safety and so that she wouldn't worry about it that you've been investigating defending yourself if the need arises. Then say I've looked into the effectiveness of pepper spray/ taser guns on the Internet and information on defending yourself with a handgun. Getting a LTCF and a safe handgun with a proven record of safety in combination with other simple steps you've read like thinking about where you should park is important.

Take the focus back off the guns immediately, so as to distract her from the initial shock and emotional reaction to the mention of the gun with something like this " I never thought about where I parked before. I read some articles and then when I got to my car tonight I realized I parked in probably the worst spot on the lot, there were plenty of places to hide and it was far from the door and darker. I can't believe I've been doing that a lot before"

Here's what probably will happen to her emotions when you say this. First she'll knee jerk about the gun, she doesn't like them so she'll want to object and then changed her focus from that to your safety. The parking conversation (or anything that you can say to make her worry/contemplate about your safety) will cause another knee jerk reaction. This should override her gun concern.

Mind your I'm not suggesting this to maliciously manipulate her but rather to over ride her emotional fear enough so that she starts to look at the broader situation. She needs to realise whats at play. You want her to start comparing your safety vs. her unreasonable fear vs. her logical concern about guns in the home. Hopefully she'll discard the unreasonable fears and start comparing your safety only with her logical concerns about the safety of having a gun in the home.

Your follow up now should be to discuss other things you have done that weren't perfectly safe. Say when you walked down the street you walked near the buildings where anyone could jump out and grab you instead of walking near the curb or you didn't leave enough space between you and the car in front of you. Then bring up what you did right but didn't turn out perfectly. Like I was coming to a light and was making sure to leave enough space between me and the person in front of me so that if something happened I could go around but then some shady guy in a shady car cut right in front of me.

The purpose of that is to indicate to her that no matter how well you follow the rules of safety things happen that can compromise your efforts. Leave it at that. Wait for her to say the next thing, stroke her hair, touch her in some way lovingly and with concern for her in your eyes. Wait say absolutely nothing at all.

You waiting for her to say "So are you getting a gun?" Then say you're thinking about it but that you know if you do you'll need to get a safe and take a lot of courses to make sure that YOU (as in yourself) are comfortable with having one in the home.

the reason for that statement is to show that you're worried about the safety of guns. This alleviates the pressure from her to be the responsible one, will show that you're going to be/ are responsible enough to handle it, you've shown her that you've taken on that heavy role of hers! That will calm her and as a bonus you'll come off as being the protector, which will get you some bonus responsible/protector points.

Don't continue the discussion at the point, Don't expect her to actually agree with you about getting the gun, . She's already accepted that your doing what a man has to do. You're taking a traditional role then and she'll like that.

Immediately after that conversation, tell her everything will be alright and lets not talk about this anymore because I don't like worrying about you. Smile, kiss her and tell her that you're going to make some hot chocolate or tea or dinner or whatever comfort food she likes. Make sure you have that in the house before your start the conversation.

From there it should be a cake walk but I would recommend that you act relatively quickly. Buy a safe and a gun ASAP, the next day even. Make sure you've chosen your gun where you're going to buy it and the safe. When you get the gun make sure you have the safe set up and the gun in the safe before she gets home. Don't let her see it unless she asks to see it and at the beginning don't have it loaded in your house!

Good luck, hopefully this scenario will at least give you some ideas of how to ease her mind. It's just a scenario, you might have to change it around but hopefully it has you thinking about how SHE feels and how to get her to think more logically about the situation rather than her fears about guns.

Again, good luck, and do take a safety course!